well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
