Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
