No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
