So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
