it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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