Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
