We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
