wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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