Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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