They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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