He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
only you would photoshop your dick
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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