Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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