I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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