wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
