You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
