Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
there is puke in my bra ... again
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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