im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
