that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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