I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
