Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
