bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize