My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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