WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I just blew my weed a kiss
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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