Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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