I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
