Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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