I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
