so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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