She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
NoShamevember. You game?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
These 21 People Came Up With Hilarious Excuses For Their Hickies
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly