At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
