What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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