so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
