stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Just high enough for therapy.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
