just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
