The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
