So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
