I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
