She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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