Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
