I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
