Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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