I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
