i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
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I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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