Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
she pinky promised me she was 18
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
