And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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