It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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