Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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