I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
