Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
