what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
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I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
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It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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