You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
