I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
