is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
and you fell through a lawn chair
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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