im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
