You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I need water and some morals
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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