I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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