Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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