I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
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we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
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He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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