i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
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he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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