but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
